Sports Sense

In many ways bowling is the most egalitarian sport there is. Literally anyone – even a caveman – can get a strike once in awhile. And everyone can roll the ball in the gutter. Mastering bowling means understanding how to navigate in between those extremes. You must be consistent and focused, willing to be boring enough to do the same thing over and over again, exactly the same way. If you can do that you have a chance to be a good bowler. But to be a pro bowler… well not just anyone can do that.

And to actually win on the pro tour (not many at all have taken home a PBA championship trophy) is even harder. And until Sunday never in the history of the Professional Bowlers Association had a women ever won a PBA Tour title. Remember the name Kelly Kulick.

Kelly Kulick won the Lumber Liquidators PBA Tournament of Champions in Las Vegas. She not only beat one-time bowler of the year, Chris Barnes in the final, she crushed him by 70 pins, 265 – 195.

To get to the finals Kelly had to win and score high all week long. And then in the televised Sunday match Kelly had to win one match to make the finals. She beat a guy named Mika by getting a strike in the last frame to advance to title match. She then faced off against Barnes.

This match was never close. Only an unlucky 7-10 split ruined a nearly perfect game. Kelly closed out Barnes with 7 strikes in a row.

I know this is “only” bowling, and to most people it is not a real sport. But any time a lady can beat men on equal footing in a legitimate competition it is definitely worth noting. With her win Kelly gets a two-year exemption from qualifying on the men’s tour and $40 thousand dollars. This is especially significant considering there is no longer a formal women’s pro tour.

With her wireless mike attached as she bowled the final frame she said aloud, ”history has been made in the world of sports…“

Yes, history was made, and it is important, even if it is bowling – I’m serious!

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DavidBurnett Bowling Bowling, Chris Barnes, Kelly Kulick, Lumber Liquidator's PBA Tour

Jim Nabor’s famous TV character Gomer Pyle often proclaimed: “Surprise, Surprise”.   And surprise is the best word for what happened when I finally got a chance to watch the Mike Wilbon – Wes Malott bowling challenge the other day.  

Believe it or not, with a surprising effort, Mike Wilbon, the co-host of the popular ESPN sports talk show Pardon the  Interruption, with the benefit of a 57 pin handicap, knocked off Wes Malott, the PBA’s player of the year 256 – 248.

Winning based on handicap is a fair and accepted practice in bowling.  In fact most bowling leagues all across the country use the handicap system.  Wilbon who rolled a “scratch” or actual 199 game, performed well under the TV lights against one of the best bowlers in the world.   At one point Wilbon, who was dressed in a special PTI bowling shirt, rolled 4 consecutive strikes.  Wilbon’s “HAMBONE” as TV bowling announcer Randy Pederson often proclaims when someone hits 4 straight strikes, is pretty darned good – no matter who is rolling the ball.

This all started a couple of months ago when Wilbon, on Pardon the Interruption, was highly critical of Wes Malott for failing to appear at an old-school, plastic ball only tournament.   Wilbon suggested with his remarks that Malott did not want to test himself without the benefit of the high-tech special surface balls that are normally used by professional players and top ranking amateurs.   These high-tech balls are believed by many bowling purists to have artificially inflated bowling scores.   The unstated is that a “real bowler” should be able to win with any ball, old-school plastic or high-tech.

A couple of weeks later Malott, while winning a tournament in Indianapolis, taunted Wilbon on the air for suggesting he was afraid to use plastic balls and challenged the TV host to a match.  Malott said he would use only plastic balls and destroy Wilbon.   On his TV show the next day Wilbon accepted Malott’s challenge but said he needed at least 57 pins as a handicap since he would be facing the PBA’s top player.

The match finally took place last week, and will air on ESPN 2, April 22 as part of a special PBA bowling series.  If you don’t want to wait till then, the match is available to see right now on ESPN.com.

What I saw was an impressive showing by an amateur player in Wilbon.  Rolling a 199 is an excellent score by any measure.  And when you consider the pressure that Wilbon was under to perform on camera against one of the best bowlers in the world you’ve got to give the PTI host credit.

Now let’s see Wilbon take on LeBron James, one on one.   I hear LeBron is a pretty good bowler.

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DavidBurnett Bowling, PBA Tour Bowling, Mike Wilbon, plastic balls, Wes Malott

UPDATED POST

Michael Wilbon has accepted the challenge of top PBA bowler Wes Malott – sort of.  On his ESPN show Monday, Wilbon and  TV partner Tony Kornheiser joked about the dispute which started a couple of weeks ago when Wilbon questioned Malott’s manhood for failing to show for a special “plastic ball” tournament.  An “angry” Malott after winning another tournament on Sunday dared Wilbon to take him on.  Wilbon now says he will play Malott – but only if  he gets at least 57 pins as a handicap.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMJBhKe__A&hl=en&fs=1]

Who do think will win?  

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David Burnett Bowling, PBA Tour accepts challenge, Bowling, Lumber Liquidator's PBA Tour, Malott, Pardon the Interruption, Wilbon

Bowling used to be something I thought up for a first date, or something I would do with my kids to get out of the house.  But as my kids have grown up and I’ve gotten older, surprisingly, bowling has more meaning to me now than ever.  And today was one of the most special bowling moments I’ve ever had, if not the funniest.

Let me explain.  I’ve been bowling “seriously” for one year now.  “Seriously” means that after all these years I finally bought a ball and some bowling shoes and joined a couple of leagues.    And now that I’m a “serious” bowler, watching professional bowling on TV has become essential Sunday viewing for me.  But today will be memorable.  The star of the Lumber Liquidators  Pro Bowlers Tour, gargantuan bowler, Wes Malott, in whose hands the ball looks like a grapefruit, called out sports columnist and TV show host Michael Wilbon.  Malott called Wilbon out not just once but several times.

A couple of weeks ago on his daily ESPN show, Pardon the Interruption, Wilbon said he is a “serious” bowler, at least by my definition,  and was critical of Malott for not showing up at a tournament which mandated that bowlers could only use basic “plastic” balls.   The PBA tour for one week only outlawed the high tech, super surface balls that most serious bowlers use these days.  Some old school purists believe that the new high tech balls have artificially increased scoring, and have taken away some of the skill and consistency that good bowling requires.  And in pointing out Malott’s absence at the tournament, it could be inferred that Wilbon was basically calling Malott a coward, suggesting the big guy was too scared to show what he could do without using bowling’s dangerous weapons.

Malott, who is leading the PBA tour in wins and TV appearances this season won again on Sunday with his high tech ball.  But even in victory he couldn’t stop directing one of his huge fingers at Wilbon.  At one point during the title game, even in mid-roll,  Malott muttered Wilbon’s name under his breath.  And in an interview he even dared Wilbon to take him on.  Malott said he would use the plastic ball and Wilbon could use whatever he wanted.

I know, I know.  It’s bowling.  And today’s outburst could have been an orchestrated ploy by ESPN and Malott for attention or ratings.  But so what – everything is contrived anyway. I still think it was a big moment for the quintessential blue collar, beer drinking sport.   And I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling.  Because as funny as it was – a bowler talking tough – it occurred to me that if one of the stars of my new sport is calling out one of the biggest names in sports journalism, then bowling may have entered a new era.  And it was worth every dollar I spent on my ball and shoes to be part of this spectacle.

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David Burnett Bowling, PBA Tour Bowling, Lumber Liquidator's PBA Tour, Michael Wilbon, plastic balls, Wes Malott